Underwater (2020) [review]
Underwater (2020) [review]
A decent nautical monster movie ruined by SJW's
Quick Review
Unfortunately, it’s a bad film.
This movie was widely panned by critics and I understand why. When I first saw ‘Underwater’ (2020), I found it a monumental disappointment. However, years later, a second viewing has swayed me. A little. Though not quite enough.
Slightly futuristic humans are drilling deep under the ocean, they break in to the home of monsters who then attack and kill nearly everyone. Perhaps. It’s never explained so must not be important.
The opening action sequence makes quite an impact, but it doesn’t flow with the rest of the film; which consists of slowly walking to a destination, crying (lots of) and rhythmically timed deaths of the main cast. There honestly isn’t much more to it. Such an explosive opening must be followed by moments of equal intensity or the experience feels boring. The final scene is hugely underwhelming and childish for such a serious movie.
Throughout this entire ordeal we’re trapped under the ocean, hunted by fishy humanoid monsters. They either eat people or use them to reproduce. Who knows? There appear to be thousands of these creatures, living in a closed ecosystem deep in the ocean, where there wouldn’t be enough food to sustain them.
What makes even less sense is a leviathan mega-monster, the size of several sports fields, who seemingly controls the mini-monsters. Something that size would… it’s a movie, whatever.
Bland. Doesn’t really go anywhere. The ending couldn’t have been more predictable. Dialog is lacking and effects, though great, have been seen before. In fact, it’s so generic that ‘Underwater’ could have been the first ‘AI’ generated movie. If AI existed. Which it doesn’t.
T.J. Miller is great, as always. That’s the only praise I can give and it’s not directed at the casting agent. Although a great actor, he doesn’t fit in. Miller is in a support role but comes across as a lead. Which is troublesome because his constant one liners never go anywhere, seemingly ignored by the rest of the cast. Wrong character for the story and wrong actor for the role.
This is also a ‘diversity’ first film. Which is a shame. I couldn’t recollect a single character name. All I know is the lesbian looking girl was an engineer. Obviously! Stereotypes aren’t allowed to exist, until they do.
A cast of real actors, a meaningful story and character development, would have made this an easy candidate for franchising. Big budget, lots of effects and 1 or 2 memorable scenes does not make a movie good.
Far from a good action movie when the ‘strong female lead’, masquerading as an Eminem impersonator, is crying in a ball on the floor. Empowerment!
The end credits were good. I enjoyed the rabbit, though totally forgot why it was relevant.
Overview
Genre(s): Mostly drama, action, mild horror
Location(s): Under the sea (Mariana Trench, 35,000 feet under the sea)
Writer(s): Brian Duffield, Adam Cozad
Director(s): William Eubank
Main Actor(s):
‘T.J. Miller’ as ‘Paul Abel’
‘Kristen Stewart’ as ‘Norah Price’
…the rest are all “diverse”
Official Synopsis:
“Kristen Stewart stars in this electrifying sci-fi thriller as a mechanical engineer who must try to save her fellow crew members following the destruction of their mining rig seven miles beneath the ocean surface. Five thousand miles from land, their only hope for survival is to walk across the ocean floor to an abandoned vessel. But their already dangerous journey becomes even more treacherous as a mysterious new threat appears at the ocean's depths!”
Box Art:
In More Detail (no major spoilers)
No major spoilers here, but film structure and plot is analysed in detail. If in doubt, just watch the film.
A tough one to not recommend. There isn’t a single specific negative to call out, besides the entire movie being dull. It’s as though someone thought up a great opening sequence then ran out of ideas. Nothing is ever fleshed out. Being someone who’s full of movie ideas which will never come to fruition, I understand this all too well. But I don’t waste millions making flops. I just accept I’m not a good filmmaker.
Plots don’t need to be complex to make a good movie. In this story, monsters attack an underwater drilling platform, people die, the survivors head to escape pods on a second platform, more die on the way and there’s an ending. How exciting.
That’s unfair. The foundations are solid, enough. How complex does a story about monsters attacking an underwater drilling platform need to be? A few explosions, chases, unexpected deaths, a little gore and some uncouth humour. Well all this is meaningless without good characters and I think that’s why ‘Underwater’ sank.
Sorry.
For starters, this movie is meant to be realistic. There aren’t superhuman feats of strength or face-slapping coincidences. While ploughing through this 90 minutes of boredom I got to thinking of greater underwater monster movies such as ‘DeepStar Six’ (1989) and ‘Leviathan’ (1989).
Both excellent movies, who accept their premises as ridiculous then compensate with cheesy one liners and lightly inappropriate humour. Maybe too much at times, but they’re still enjoyable today while ‘Underwater’ has been forgotten. No risk, no reward. This movie feels too safe.
The contrast of humour and mild terror keeps audiences alert. People should be feeling as many emotions as possible throughout the film. ‘Underwater’ lacks humour, terror and action in sufficient quantities. It felt more like a sci-fi drama; slow and wordy. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, but I don’t want to watch that. Plus the explosive opening infers an action movie.
Dramas require strong characters. Not actors, characters. I saw the movie 2 days ago and can’t recall anyone’s name or backstory. Maybe… were 2 of them in a relationship? Something about a teddy bear? Ah, Stewart’s character was a computer engineer. Well, some sort of engineer.
That’s bad storytelling. Either the characters were boring and forgettable or the story was. Possibly both. The only cast member who makes any lasting impression is the excellent T.J. Miller. Obviously he’s the comic relief, totally the wrong casting. His mannerisms and delivery are more suited to comedic action movies. He stands out because he’s so inappropriate for the role. This detracts from the immersion.
Stewart is the only other character I have much recollection of. She has the lead role but not the screen presence. Shaven head, scrawny, boring and face like a dogs arse. She’s not a good actress. I understand the ‘Twilight’ movies were highly successful. Wasn’t due to her. Why don’t casting agents understand this?
‘Twilight’ was only popular due to undersexed girls wanting to see naked werewolf and vampire men. Girls who could relate to Stewart being bland and unattractive, like them, but for some reason every guy in every ‘Twilight’ film was drawn to her. Movies are not reality!
She does make a decent Eminem lookalike. Would have been a better movie if they used the real slim shady. Seriously.
Every character has a unique skin tone, accent and gender. Which is quite the feat given drilling platforms are predominantly manned by white men. What are the odds that those who survived the initial attack were would be the ‘diverse’ minority!
There’s your problem, lady. If I can’t believe all the people would plausibly be in this situation, I can never form a connection to them. Why do I care about their fates? Forcing all these unique races together doesn’t make the film appeal to a wider audience. It alienates every audience because it’s not reality.
Another negative, which never occurred to me while watching, is the use of darkness. Natural light doesn’t penetrate this far down and the film depicts this well. However, it’s not used to any cinematic advantage. At least in my opinion. With everything being so dark it’s hard to make out what’s going on. Gamma could be whacked up on the TV to wash out the scene, but everything becomes grey and there goes the immersion.
The special effects coordinator should have been shorting out equipment drooling over the possibilities. They had the budget! Instead, there’s darkness. The lack of light makes sense as the only light that far down would be from the damaged drilling platforms. Minimal power, minimal light. There are ways to portray this without boring the viewer though.
If the power systems are unstable, maybe have them pulsing beams of light at random intervals? This could be attracting or enraging the monsters, providing unexpected attacks?
The light could temporarily scare off the smaller monsters, creating erratic windows for survivors to rush between key checkpoints? Then the motivation for the leviathan monster would be to destroy the light and protect it’s little friends. No motivation was ever provided for the attacks.
Maybe whatever is being mined gives off luminescent steam vents? That would be a cool effect underwater. What about shoals of bioluminescent fish, algae or plants drawn to the reactor heat?
This got me thinking; why are the monsters attacking? It’s never explained. Do they hate the light? During one attack the crew turn off their lights and it doesn’t seem to make a difference. Perhaps because they have computer displays in their helmets which are as bright as their spotlights. So it wouldn’t have made a difference!
I revisited a couple of scenes while writing this to figure out if the humans are used as food or hosts for reproduction. That could be a motive. Still have no idea. It could plausibly be both. Problem; if these creatures need hosts to reproduce then how have thousands of them managed to reproduce where there’s no life?
Not sure I can sit through the movie again, but I’m under the impression humans may have drilled in to the monsters habitat? That could make sense if the monsters were attracted to heat. The sea floor is cold but they could have lived in a warm, sealed cavern. How big was the cavern to hold all these monsters and why didn’t seismic surveys find it? Whatever.
The characters suck, the story is boring, it’s too dark, the effects are dull, monsters make no sense and the ending is enraging.
What is this movie trying to be? The intense opening sequence suggests action. Monsters should make it a horror. Stewart walking around in her underwear and crying all the time, implies an incel drama. Thinking back to the opening monologue, yeah. Definitely aimed at emotionally unstable incels.
There’s nowhere near enough action to make it an action movie. A few deaths and obvious monster attacks don’t make it horror; nothing in ‘Underwater’ is scary. Character development and motives are non-existent, so it can’t be a drama.
All that’s left is a gender confused Stewart parading around in her underwear and crying. Can’t emphasis the crying enough. Why is there a mentally unstable woman doing a mans job at the bottom of the ocean when she quite clearly can’t handle the… pressure?
Because they’re pandering to deranged, entitled incels; lunatics who think the opening monologue was deep and meaningful, rather then pretentious and laughable.
How did that work out for you filmmakers? Flopped. They never learn.
There’s a visually impressive death scene which happens early on. After that, it’s a long hard drive until the end. Which is not worth the effort.
Go watch ‘DeepStar Six’ or ‘Leviathan’.
Don’t Read This Section!
I’m not covering the entire movie and taking away potential earnings. This is an area for parts of the review which may ruin the viewing experience, not for disclosing every plot point.
Opening Monologue
This is a massive red flag as to the tone of the film. Gender confused emo girl at the bottom of the ocean, in her underwater, brushing her teeth saving a spider from certain death while rambling about how lonely and emotional she is. Classic deep sea drill operator right there.
Her faux, deep and meaningful narration voice is a crime against humanity. COUGH AND CLEAR YOUR THROAT.
It’s a draining 120 second sequence which feels like an entire movie in itself. Brace yourself for the likes of…
“I think, or dream about, the first thing he ever said to me. Told me he didn’t believe in time, only moments.”
Or…
“He was a glass half full type, but I preferred it empty.”
Oh, fuck off.
Power through it. Or jump to the action sequence and really get your heart pumping. With anger.
The Imploding Corridor
As far as action sequences go, it’s pretty good but should have been way better. There’s not much to spoil, being the first scene, but it’s a key moment I didn’t want to ruin for anyone.
My problem with the explosive decompression scene is everything.
I was going to say ‘everything technical’ but there’s not much else. It’s all technical and the movie is meant to be realistic. No super powers, magic or unbelievable coincidences. Therefore I expect everything to be accurate, within reason.
Obviously Stewart has plot armour. No way is she dying in this opening, so all tension is relieved. She will make it in time and survive. That’s terrible writing and/or directing. She should have been responsible for other people. The escape sequence would then be her saving others, setting up future drama. As the others do not have plot armour, their fates would be unknown.
Gender confused emo Eminem makes it to a control room, as we see the adjacent corridor buckling. The computer terminal which seals the door is broken. Oh no! We’re put in a zero stress race against time to hack the panel and seal the door. How will the lead actress ever survive with only 90 minutes left in the movie!
This screamed ‘idiot generation’ to me. Their lives are controlled by tech and they don’t know how they, or the world, could function without it. If a computer controlling pressure doors failed, there would be a manual override. Not ‘there could be’. There would be. Water and electrics don’t work well together.
Let’s assume there isn’t a manual override and the computer controlling the door is broken. There would be a backup computer, 1 for each door, on an isolated system to automatically seal compartments. That way if the rig workers are asleep, like what happened here, they wouldn’t all die. Hang on, why weren’t there more pressure doors down the long corridor?
The idiot generation is anyone born after the year 2,000
Rig workers wouldn’t be expected to disassemble a computer, rewire the system and trigger the automatic doors. There would probably be 2 people on base who could do this and one was crucially awake at the time of the incident! Who, despite appearances, just so happened to be a girl.
The computer is repaired with seconds to spare. Phew. But Stewart won’t close the doors because there are people running down the corridor. A corridor which is explosively decompressing, literally, inches behind them. At a depth of 10,668 meters (35,000 feet).
This isn’t how decompression works. When the far end of the corridor decompressed, they would have died in seconds. Not running in a 1980’s fireball escape sequence.
The doors are eventually engaged and the corridor implodes all the way up to the door. Then stops. What? Well ‘Underwater’ is set in the future. Perhaps they have a super strong metal which could withstand the implosion? I’m fine with that. But…
Seconds after the door is sealed and Stewart is safe, the computers around her explode and she’s thrown across the room. Have Intel switched to Semtex cores?
There’s an exterior shot, showing the destroyed corridor breaking off and falling down. Stewart isn’t in that section. Her compartment doesn’t move at all. How was she unaffected by the explosive decompression, yet slow-mo launched across the room by a detached corridor falling down?
Again, again, terrible writing and/or direction. If she needed to be thrown across the room and knocked unconscious, why wasn’t it from the corridor’s explosive decompression? That would have created a shock wave, impacting the entire facility. This is simple stuff.
Given all the bad reviews, I wasn’t expecting such a lively opening. It impressed me the first time I saw it. Subsequent viewings have greatly lowered by opinion.
Imploding Guy
Very cool scene and not only because it was a black who died. The film has good effects, there’s no disputing that. This short scene stood out as one of the best.
As the suit implodes, everyone nearby is thrown around by the force. There’s lots of dust and debris, including little pieces of flesh. To date, it’s probably the best suit decompression scene I can think of. Everything was accurate and graphic enough.
Although, why would a person imploding generate a ball of light? Perhaps the battery packs are future tech? If the battery explosion was so violent, why wasn’t everyone a few feet from the explosion killed?
The Catch and Run Scene
I had to rewind and watch this a second time to figure out what was going on. I had no idea what characters were involved, what direction they were heading or what happened at the end.
Stewart and... someone, are outside and something something monster attack. I really don’t know how things led to this situation. I found exterior scenes so badly lit and directed that they were too much effort to follow. I also don’t know what happened after. At least I didn’t until I rewound and whacked the gamma up on my monitor.
This sequence takes place on a platform. Not sure where the platform is or how they got on onboard. It’s a mundane detail but helps viewers feel like they’re there, rather than watching a movie.
A monster grabs the person that isn’t Stewart, she attacks it with a knife (I think), it then swims off with the other person in to the ocean void. Stewart was attached to the person and pulled along, the rope was cut, the other person imploded.
It’s as generic as anything else in the movie, so why did it bother me? Because I had to rewind and change my monitor lighting to see what was going on. Immersion completely ruined. I understand it’s deep in the ocean and meant to be dark. That’s an opportunity, not a hindrance. Be creative.
Being Swallowed by a Monster
So the monsters do eat people? Now they eat them whole rather than rip them apart?
If implementation were consistent then Stewart wouldn’t be able to use plot armour and cut her way out from inside. What luck.
The Ending
There are 2 reasons why the ending annoyed me.
The first is a call back to the opening decompression sequence. Remember when the corridors were imploding and the pressure doors needed to be manually triggered? Not now. In this final area, the corridors are imploding and pressure doors automatically seal to protect the control room.
OK. The personnel area, that would be people who run the station, don’t have automatic pressure doors. But the control room, which is useless without the crew, does?
I know it’s a shit project to work on. Pay attention and be consistent. Not every film is going to be a commercial success, but this is your job. Put in the effort or do something else.
Second, that reactor explosion obviously annoyed me. An escape pod is launched to the surface, hundreds of little monsters are chasing it, big monster is on the seabed and the reactor explodes. Leviathan monster dies. Fine with that.
The explosion is seemingly nuclear. The blast wave expands outwards spherically. All the monsters, which are mere meters from the escape pod, are killed. Would you believe that the escape pod survives? What are the odds!
Zero actually. The explosion would have created a void. Water would rapidly pour back in, creating a vacuum that sucks the escape pod down. This is 35,000 feet under the sea. For the escape pod to not be affected, it would have to be more than a couple of meters out of range.
I’m not accepting the argument of:
“It’s just a minor…”
No. A film with this large an investment, from people who should be at least high school educated, in the current year, can not be this ignorant. No excuse for it.
You know what, there’s a third too.
Stewart gets a facial at the end of the movie. Not sure how. When the reactor detonates, decompression would be nearly instantaneous. There wouldn’t be numerous loads splashing her in the face for 14 cringe inducing seconds. Yeah, I counted. She would be crushed and ripped apart to nothing identifiable within milliseconds.
Slow-Motion
We get it, you’ve seen ‘The Matrix’ (1999). We’ve all seen it. The effects in ‘Underwater’ are good. What does the slow-motion add?
Slow-mo flying across the room after a decompression. Adds nothing. It slows down the action and the scene is less intense. The force of the impact isn’t conveyed to the viewer when using slow-motion.
There was another slow-motion scene, possibly 2, but I didn’t note down the timestamps. I’m not watching this shit again.
Slow-motion water gently splashing Stewart in the face after the reactor explodes next to her. Not only does it add nothing, it takes away from what could have been an incredible death scene. The filmmakers were aiming for deep, intense, emotional, spiritual, meaningful. They ended up with comically infantile.
STOP CRYING!
You’re a grown woman working a dangerous, professional job after weeks of psychological screening, 35,000 feet under the ocean. WTF is wrong with you?
Put Some Clothes On, Have a Little Self Respect
Kristen Stewart; you are not likable or attractive. You look and act like a gender confused Eminem impersonator. You do not have a toned body. You are clearly throwing up after every meal, taking laxatives, smoking heavily and snorting cocaine to keep the weight off. You have zero muscle mass which would come from healthy living and exercise. It’s disgusting how you are used in this movie to push eating disorders on to vulnerable girls.
I know, said she looks like Eminem a few times. It’s all I could think about when she were running around almost naked for large portions of the movie.
Who was it that thought people wanted to see Eminem in women’s underwear, crying in a ball on the ocean floor?
Hollywood groomers and rapists, like Kirk Douglas. That’s who.
In 1955, Kirk Douglas brutally raped actress Natalie Wood at the Chateau Marmont in LA. She was 16 years old and auditioning for a role. He was 39. The rape lasted for hours and left her physically injured.
Kirk ‘PieceOfShit’ Douglas lived another 65 years, to be 103, before passing away peacefully. He appeared in a further 71 movies after the incident, amassing a wealth of around $61,000,000.
Natalie Wood went on to appear in over 30 movies and TV shows after the incident. In 1983 she was beaten and drowned while on a private boat. By either, or both, actors Robert Wagner and Christopher Walken. They were the only ones present with her at the time. Hollywood and their degenerate scum police department made no effort to prosecute 2 of their protected elite fundraisers.
