Crawlspace (2012) [review]
Crawlspace (2012) [review]
Tolerable Australian conspiracy monster(ish) movie
Quick Review
Good film.
There’s an incident at a secret military base, people are dead, people are alive, a military team are sent in to extract survivors and extraction of a science team. Doesn’t sound too interesting, most films don’t when reduced to their simplest, however there is something here. It’s enjoyable. At least the second half is.
Tolerate that awful line delivery towards the beginning. It gets better, though I never felt too engaged. Audio is the weakest part of the film. There’a an almost cliché element to some of the music and audio cues.
Perhaps it’s trying too hard and coming off as over-dramatic? Don’t use the Willhelm scream unless it’s for comedic purposes. Especially at a painfully loud level. It’s annoying. Almost as much as frequent, unnatural breathing to force emotional states!
Effects remain consistently good throughout and the plot is solid enough. Some nice twists that are straightened out by the end. The movie teases a confusing looped ending, though ultimately delivers an adequate finale with potential for a sequel. ‘Crawlspace’ has charm, though you wouldn’t want a long term relationship.
I’ve never fought alongside any Australian military force, however I’m hoping they would be less Americanised than this. If not, China don’t have much to worry about.
Note: There were 2 movies released in 2012 with the title ‘Crawlspace’. The other is an American thriller movie, alternatively titled ‘The Attic’. That’s about a guy in a house killing people. A little different than this.
Overview
Genre(s): Action, Conspiracy, Horror (mild)
Location(s): Remote military output in the Australian outback
Writer(s): Eddie Baroo, Justin Dix, Adam Patrick Foster
Director(s): Justin Dix
Main actor(s):
'Amber Clayton' as 'Eve'
* ‘Ditch Davey’ as ‘Romeo’
I don’t know if this is accurate, explained later
Official Synopsis:
“Deep in the heart of the unforgiving Australian desert lies Pine Gap, a top-secret government facility operated by the United States Military. When the base comes under attack from unknown forces, an elite team is sent in to extract the military scientists. But their mission quickly becomes compromised when they find a crowd of disturbed patients from the medical sector overrunning the facility and encounter a beautiful and mysterious young woman with no memory. As the squad delves deeper it becomes clear that there is something far more sinister - and far more dangerous - going on at Pine Gap.”
Box Art:
In More Detail (no major spoilers)
No major spoilers here, but film structure and plot is analysed in detail. If in doubt, just watch the film.
The movie opens with a short exposition as to its location; Pine Gap. In ‘Crawlspace’ we’re to believe it’s a secret government research facility. This base exists in the real world as a joint Austrian and US surveillance outpost, not far from Alice Springs in Australia.
In reality, it’s merely a US spy station. The Australian involvement is simply the money they’re paid by the US to house it on their land. It’s purpose is to intercept and inject data from Asian satellites. If war ever broke out between Asia and the West, this should be the first place targeted for destruction.
In this movie, Pine Gap is referred to as a “top secret research facility”. So who knows what goes on there? Anyone who’s watched the film should. Even the first 2 minutes should be enough to formulate conspiracies around a suspected purpose. I don’t think it’s a spoiler to say that, within this opening scene, we’re introduced to a girl with a large surgical incision on her noggin and sporting a fancy ID bracelet. Was she part of an insidious experiment or life saving operation?
The main character is Eve, played by Amber Clayton. Who’s boobs you may recall from the cover art if you’re lucky enough to have that version. She’s a decent enough actress and needs to be, for her role is the most diverse. She’s top billed, on the cover art and the first character seen. Obviously she’s of some importance.
I’ve seen ‘Crawlspace’ at least 5 times, however I’m unable to recall the name of any character besides Eve. As I’m writing this the movie is playing in the background at 2x speed in the hopes of picking out the name of ‘main army guy’. None of the pictures on IMDB look familiar. Which isn’t ideal when trying to tell a story.
I shouldn’t have to watch again in the hopes of picking out the name of a main character. There’s no name badge on his uniform and the team refer to him as ‘chief’ or ‘commander’. Neither of which are in the credits. There is a brief radio communication stating “Romeo, Romeo, where for…” to which main army guy responds. So I guess his name is Romeo, a role credited to Ditch Davey. Or not.
As for the rest of the cast? I have no idea what the actors names are, their character names or most of their roles are in the movie. Oh, one almost came to mind while I was typing that. There’s a military girl who works intel and her… name… is… lost it. Something to do with knowledge? It’s gone.
Scientists, their aides, the army guys, civilians, I have no idea who they are. Their names aren’t used to any degree in the script and there are no visual cues. So maybe names aren’t important? They are. It’s how we acknowledge people. How am I meant to describe events without character names? Even if I look them up then others who have seen the film likely won’t know who I’m referencing!
The movie opens, rather aptly, in a crawlspace. We’re introduced to Eve who is confused, surrounded by dead bodies and wearing perfectly clean clothes. Of particular interest was the spotless white strap top. She somehow managed to not touch any of those dirty looking ventilation systems after losing consciousness. Perhaps it’s an ode to the magical colour changing wife beater worn in ‘Die hard’ (1986)? The scene is a good setup for the rest of the movie and definitely peaks an interest.
Next we’re introduced to a military team en route to Pine Gap to? Actually, I didn’t fully know their intentions when writing this. I had to watch the helicopter scene again, now at 8+ viewings, to pick out their goals. The primary mission is a sweep and clear with a secondary goal of extracting some scientists. This is another failing of the film; viewers should be engaged enough to absorb all this information from the start. The first few minutes should be reserved for establishing shots and introductions. Space it out. Aboard the helicopter there’s an exposition overload. The only line which stuck with me was…
“…but give them no quarter, make no mistake. Today, they’ll give you none in return”
Sounds good in your head, right? However the line was meant to be delivered, pretty sure the final print wasn’t it. I don’t know if it’s the Australian accent or the actor? That line doesn’t work and should have been cut or re-shot. The movie wasn’t ruined, but it did make me question why I was watching. Acting that bad so early on is a red flag. However, I am a glutton for conspiracy movies and Eve’s opening was more than enough to keep me intrigued.
The military team we follow are some form of special forces. I think. They’re not overly special, though are incredibly unprofessional. Which is key to a modern special forces depiction in Hollywank. Aussiewank, I guess. What’s unprofessional about them?
At least 2 of the team are having sex with each other
One of the team is on a mission while pregnant
They reuse the same manipulative trope to convince scientists to cooperate
Don’t understand their equipment can be removed to crawl through tight spaces
Don’t eliminate targets on sight when on a sweep and clear mission
It’s some bad writing.
Our military friends enter the base and kill everything on sight, only relenting when they happen upon Eve. Why? Would you believe… she just so happens to be the, long thought to be dead, wife of Romeo. What are the odds! This is quite clever and one for the spoilers section. This is learnt early on so doesn’t spoil much.
Speaking of spoilers, from here on ‘Crawlspace’ takes a turn for the surreal. Which I can’t explain for it would ruin the movie. Although I don’t think anyone could unravel the mystery if I leaked a picture of the partially skinned, seemingly immortal, pissed off gorilla.
Honestly, the film isn’t that stupid throughout. This is a research facility, there’s a girl with a scar on her noodle and a hilarious gorilla monster. It’s safe to assume there’s biological experimentation going on, but what would a girl with head surgery and a partially skinned gorilla have in common? My guess is they both like bananas.
The rest of the film consists of soldiers killing people, people killing soldiers, an expected discovery and an unexpected ending. Early on you’ll be formulating ideas as to Eve’s past. I guarantee you’ve either figured it out or are damn close. However, there is something deeper to piece together here and it threw even me.
Billion dollar Hollywank movies all follow the same formula. Within the first 15 minutes you will have figured out the twist. If they even bother to add one. You know who’s going to die, how and probably where. They’re repeats; the same movie again and again because people will pay to see them again and again.
Another terrible ploy is to provide no clues to a ‘twist’ throughout then throw a nonsense one in at the end so viewers say “I didn’t see that coming”. As though that’s impressive writing. It’s piss poor storytelling. A good movie provides subtle hints and the viewer can either piece them together, or sit back and switch off. I mistook ‘Crawlspace’ for a bland, run-of-the-mill action movie and switched off. Which made the ending even better.
It makes me happy, for a few microseconds anyway, when I take a chance on a movie like this. Don’t confuse my enthusiasm for delusion. I’m well aware those porn ads directing me to join meth heads in the bedroom aren’t actually talking to me. I also know ‘Crawlspace’ is far from perfect, but it is different enough to be stimulating and entertaining. Albeit a little stupid.
…Wiki. The intelligence officers name was Wiki. I guess she’s renowned for bad intel. Ack ack ack.
Don’t Read This Section!
I’m not covering the entire movie and taking away potential earnings. This is an area for parts of the review which may ruin the viewing experience, not for disclosing every plot point. From here I’m assuming everyone has seen the film.
Ugly Gorillas, Ugly, Go Away
Why? The experiment was to graft an alien brain to human brain. So there is some logic in using a gorilla to experiment on. But that then assumes there’s an abundance of aliens available for dissection, otherwise they’re wasting alien brains. Perhaps there aren’t many psychic/telepathic humans so they don’t want to waste them? The aliens don’t regenerate brains because we see the dead one who was grafted to Eve.
Perhaps the gorilla wasn’t used for brain grafting. Maybe it was another experiment? One which involved partially skinning it. Maybe they were grafting gorilla fur to an alien? Surely a gorilla skin jacket would work better.
The only theory which makes sense to me is that the gorilla didn’t exist. It must have been a hallucination from Eve or one of the other mind benders. Consider that it never physically attacked anyone.
Bluff and Bluffer
There are certain things you can’t do more than once in a movie, sometimes extending to sequels. One of the worst of these is the murderous bluff; pretending you’ll shoot someone if they don’t cooperate.
Upon meeting the evil doctor, Romeo threatens to shoot his slimy male companion for information. The pitiful excuse for a man caves immediately and divulges some minor plot points. It happens. Hire better staff.
Fast forward around 8 minutes and Romeo pulls the same bluff execution with the same party. Only this time it’s against the doctor’s female bodyguard. Well, ‘mindguard’ would be more accurate. Although without the body there is no mind. Or vice versa. Semantics.
To have this play out twice in the same movie is bad. Two times within 10 minutes against the same group of people is awful writing.
If You’re Going to Fight a Woman…
Punch her in the face. There is no reality in which an unarmed woman will be able to defend herself against an unarmed man. It’s this level of ignorance which gets women raped and murdered, deluded that they can defend themselves.
Eve is forced to fight scientist guy she stabbed in the hand. Even without extreme muscle mass, he has at least a 50% weight advantage. So when he has her pinned on the ground, after trying to murder her, all he has to do is punch her in the face. 1 punch and she’s out.
Torture Porn and the Fat Guy
Romeo and his obese bum buddy are crawling through a ventilation system when they come across evil Eve! Convinced tubs is going to kill her, she mind tortures him until he blows his cholesterol out. This scene lasts around 2 minutes 40 seconds. Coming up to 3 minutes of watching a guy burning alive until he suicides.
If the intention is to rip on the weight of a character, hire an overweight guy. The reason this dent head couldn’t fit comfortably in the vents is because he didn’t take off any equipment. Remove the vest and pouches then drag them behind you. Even I know that and I’m not Australian special forces.
When making a film it doesn’t hurt to do some research or plan situations. It is possible to edit parts of a script and write yourself out of a corner. It’s how professionals create twists and negate continuity issues.
The Twist
For all the bad points in ‘Crawlspace’, the truth of what happened with Romeos’s wife is what makes this a good movie. Without such cleverness I would likely have labelled this as one to avoid.
For a twist to work it must have been foreseeable throughout the film. Otherwise it’s insulting to the audience. The clues are provided to us here, but they’re so subtle I’m confident no one would have tied them together.
It all starts at the helicopter briefing. Romeo is shown a picture of Eve but is emotionless. He doesn’t recognise the women he loved and murdered for a decent pension? There is no way anyone could mask those feelings.
When Romeo encounters Eve for the first time there’s no recognition? Her face is hidden but her figure makes an impression. Only when her face is revealed do his flashbacks trigger. Watching the movie as it’s presented, the viewer is misled in that it’s her face which triggers the memory. Whereas we’re later told it’s a reactionary instinct of self-preservation through mind bending.
From the opening we know Eve has undergone some type of cranial surgery. To what extent, who knows. Then we’re gradually introduced to the idea of mind manipulation through other characters. The notion that sweet Eve is inserting herself in to the memories of Romeo’s dead wife is inconceivable. It says a lot about the core personality of who she was before the experiment too.
Eve had the ability to both control peoples actions and create a deep psychosis so they self-harm. From the offset she could have wiped out the military personnel and escaped. Maybe she was still adapting from a recent surgery, didn’t know how to use the powers or that she even had them. The lead scientist did comment that she appeared to be using them in a reactionary manner. This exposition with him may have been what triggered her to further explore and control the abilities.
The clues are there, though anyone who says they figured it out before the showdown is drooling horse shit.
True Love
…is on the day you’re about to propose marriage, you hold your loved ones head underwater until she almost drowns, bring her back, have a cry while she begs for her life, then hold her underwater until she asphyxiates.
Truly loved his job more than he loved her. There was no coercion other than unemployment. He wasn’t forced to kill her. It was his choice. Romeo obviously loved the idea of a government pension more than protecting the fragile, innocent woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.
It could be argued he murdered her for his country. She was accused of leaking super secrets, or something similar, with no evidence provided. Or at least shown to the viewer. He knew her well enough to marry her, move in together and bear his children. Didn’t believe her when she pleaded that the allegations were all false.
True love. Never experienced by the writer.
Orange Jumpsuit Guy - T3
I’m annoyed at myself for not figuring out the twist from this scene. T3 is that guy in the orange jump suit who used mind bending to make another squad kill themselves. As Romeo approaches, visions trigger of Eve’s death.
I dismissed this event as T3 fooling Romeo in to killing himself. That seems to be the point of their powers. But why would this make Romeo blow his brains out? We’re assured he cared deeply for his dead wife, but obviously not that much since he drowned her and carried on with life. If it bothered him that much, he would have blown his brains out from remorse long ago.
So this scene makes no sense. There is no value to the viewer other than reminding them Romeos’s wife is dead. Her death is portrayed graphically in the film so it’s hard to forget. Perhaps T3 was trying to dispel the image of Eve as the wife to free Romeo from the manipulation? That could have been quite interesting to stretch out over more of the film, instead of a single rail approach. Lost potential.
Aliens
Why did it have to aliens. That was predictable from the printed DVD synopsis.
Exploding Heads
Make sense with explosives, not with concentration. I hate when movies, based around real world mechanics, suddenly throw in supernatural nonsense.
A Looped Ending?
At the start of the film Eve wakes up in a crawlspace surrounded by dead bodies.
At the end of the film Eve wakes up in a crawlspace surrounded by dead bodies.
These 2 scenes are nearly identical in setup and reaction. On my first viewing I thought this was sort of time loop. Which would have been a very bad movie! However, what is the purpose of making these scenes so similar? Was it intended to throw the user off for the final few minutes, or was there some deeper spiritual meaning I’m too dumb to comprehend?
It’s not bad, I simply don’t understand the reason for its inclusion.
The Base Explodes Seconds After Eve Escapes
Bit fucking late.
