Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania (2023) [review]
Distraught over 'The Cube' review, I turn to American cinema for salvation...
Quick Review
Bad film that destroys a great actor and, possibly, a great actress.
Every other review is correct. This is all about the message.
I like the first ‘Ant-Man’ (2015) movie. ‘Ant-Man and the Wasp’ (2018) was alright and I would consider watching it again. These superhero franchises mostly devolve into noise after each heroes premiere, but this one took a different approach; alienating fans. Good luck with that.
‘Quantumania’ received much bad press around ‘the message’ and it’s social engineering of those stupid enough to watch this copy-paste superhero crap. I’ve always been sceptical of these claims, dismissing them as man-baby fanboys throwing a tantrum because they didn’t get exactly what they wanted. I may have to revise that thought.
I made it less than 8 minutes in to this propaganda piece, before turning off. After a days contemplation, I returned to the brainwashing but couldn’t last through the next scene. Literally. ‘Quantumania’ is back to back indoctrination of ‘the message’.
Paul Rudd is a fantastic actor and holds this shitstorm together. At least the first 10 minutes that I saw. His character is likable, fun, humorous, inoffensive, looks good and is a decent guy. He’s saved the universe and now spends his days taking pictures with his fans dogs. The perfect role model for these kids movies. They are movies for kids, despite the incels worshiping them.
Speaking of kids, the Lang’s child is now a teenager. An entitled, privileged one with an extensive criminal record. A feat praised by everyone within the movie, bar Rudd. He’s furious that his drugged-up, manically staring child is such a delinquent. More so that his entire family is encouraging her in this behaviour.
This child is the problem with ‘Quantumania’. She’s clearly intended to be the lead character, despite being despicable and lacking acting talent. Being sanctimonious in every scene is not acting. That’s the actors personality hijacking a role and she’s old enough, paid enough, to be better.
The daughter is released from prison after committing a felony with no charges, no punishment and laughing about the situation with her mother. When Rudd tries to exact discipline, he is shut down as a beta male and dismissed as an overbearing parent who shouldn’t tell his child what to do; that would be attacking the police and felonious criminal damage.
Why did this brat attack the police? They were clearing out a homeless encampment of drug addicts, rapists, thieves and murders. She didn’t like that. Perhaps her multi-billion dollar family could give away their wealth instead of building ridiculous superhero suits? No? Just like everyone else in Hollywood. A horrific message for, not just kids, society as a whole.
Michelle Pfeiffer had barely appeared onscreen before I turned off. Which is criminal for an actress of her status. She is Catwoman!
Michael Douglas, son of violent paedophile rapist Kirk Douglas, also had a brief appearance as the doddering old man that he is. Apparently Bill Murray shows up at some point! Would like to have seen him act again, but it will have to be in something else.
I refuse to sit through this indoctrination just for clickbait drama. ‘Quantumania’ is offensively unwatchable.
Overview
Genre(s): Marvel, Comic Book, Superhero, SJW
Location(s): Green screen
Writer(s): Jeff Loveness, Stan Lee, Larry Lieber
Director(s): Peyton Reed
Main actor(s):
'Paul Rudd' as 'Scott Lang' (Ant-Man)
'Evangeline Lilly' as 'Hope Van Dyne' (The Wasp)
'Michael Douglas' as 'Dr. Hank Pym'
'Michelle Pfeiffer' as 'Janet Van Dyne’
'Bill Murray' as 'Lord Krylar'
Official Synopsis:
“Scott Lang (Paul Rudd) and Hope Van Dyne (Evangeline Lilly) continue their adventures as Ant-Man and The Wasp. Together, with their families, they explore the Quantum Realm, interacting with strange new creatures and embarking on an adventure that will push them beyond the limits of what they thought possible.”
Box Art:
Bad Movie Rant
No major spoilers here, but it does cover events up to 10 minutes in to the movie. That’s all I could sit through.
I’m still distraught over my last review of the Japanese interpretation of ‘Cube’ (2023). I rarely get excited by anything these days and waited weeks until the perfect weekend came around to watch it. One of my favourite horror themed movies remade by the Japanese, what could go wrong? Everything.
I feel bad for hating the film for being Japanese. After all it was made by Japanese for a Japanese market, what’s to complain about? It’s not for me so I shouldn’t have watched it.
By that logic, ‘Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania’ was made for me and I should enjoy it. So I feel less bad for confirming that ‘Quantumania’ is an unwatchable pile of SJW, diarrhetic shit. Infinitely worse then ‘Cube’ to the point where I only made it through the first 7 and a half minutes.
Many clickbait drama sources were trashing ‘Quantumania’. Something about ‘the message’ and a horrendously bad CGI villain. Kang? Krang? I think one of them is from the Turtles franchise?
I’m a believer in judging for yourself. So long as you can get a refund or watch for free. If you keep funding trash they’ll continue making it, regardless of bad reviews.
‘Quantumania’ starts off innocently enough with a lighthearted jaunt down a clean, peaceful, vibrant street. Paul Rudd is close to re-enacting that most memorable of scenes from ‘Singin' in the Rain’ (1952), only with puppies instead of lampposts. These movies are for kids and this is perfect for them. Lame, corny, innocent, heartwarming.
Rudd has lunch with his wife, then heads to a small bookstore and reads his autobiography to fans. A likable guy and a great role model; he’s a superhero who helped save the galaxy and now betters his community. According to the writers, that’s a problem.
Not sure what happened to Evangeline Lilly, who plays Rudd’s wife. She now sports a lesbian haircut, librarian glasses and looks to be in her late 60’s. I guess, as with most entitled married women, she’s given up? Rudd can do a hell of a lot better, physically and mentally (referring to 2023, she was great in 2018).
Barely 6 minutes in and the film ended. For me. Rudd’s daughter, I don’t care to learn her name, is being released from jail. Drama! Apparently some cops were clearing out a homeless camp, she didn’t like them and shrunk their cruiser with… space magic. On her way out of jail, she hands back the shrunken car with a punch-able grin plastered over her dumb face. It seems to be a permanent fixture.
I’m holding back on raging over the science. I believe previous movies explained the shrinking procedure as the reduction of space between atoms or particles? Not sure which was specified. Doesn’t matter. If the empty space were removed, the weight wouldn’t be affected.
The car would weigh the same in its miniaturised state as it would normally. Only the weight would be compressed over a smaller area. That 2.5 ton car would still weight 2.5 tons, but be only a couple of inches in length. Removing something with no weight doesn’t make an object lighter. That’s a Hollywood education.
Back on track. We pick up with Scott, his daughter and wife in a car. Scott is, unsurprisingly, disappointed that his daughter would attack police officers trying to protect the innocent. It’s not a good look for a superhero when your offspring is committing felonies. It’s an even worse look when her crimes go unpunished.
The police were trying to peacefully clear out a homeless encampment. A place inhabited by drug addicts, rapists, thieves and murderers. Not to mention their unsanitary conditions spreading third world diseases. These camps are full of career criminals who want to be homeless and live this lifestyle. It’s their choice. This is how they want to live and they don’t care who they hurt.
How does this encampment affect Scott’s daughter? Her father is a superhero who fought alongside the Avengers. If anything happens to this little girl then Ant-Man will get to avenging. Her family runs the multi-billion dollar organisation of Pym Technologies. If her phone or car gets stolen, she buys another. House gets burgled, she buys more stuff. You know who can’t do that?
Me. People like me, who don’t live in million dollar mansions and don’t have personal security guards. Like aliens inhabiting Hollywood. We’re the easy marks these criminals target. I’m not sitting through a 90 minute lecture on how I must accept being a victim as part of life. No, we fight back. That should be ‘the message’.
If the police aren’t clearing out that homeless encampment, Ant-Man should be. There are plenty of jobs and places to live. It’s grown-up time. Make the sub-human filth work and live like humans, or throw them in prison forever. If they don’t want to be part of society then remove them.
Guess who’s the bad guy in this situation? Ant-Man, obviously. After being released from jail, we’re taken on an indoctrinating car ride with the family; Ant-Man, his wife and criminal daughter. The teenage girl, made-up to appear over 20 and attract the paedophile audience, is berating her father for telling her to not commit crimes. He has no right!
No, he does. The job of a parent is to guide their child through life, teach them right from wrong and ensure they’re safe. To not make the same mistakes others have. She should be in prison for committing a felony. There wasn’t even a bail hearing. So what lesson is she learning? That it’s fine to break any law you want so long as you believe you’re right?
How’s that working out, California?
Of course the mother sides with her daughter because she’s also an entitled brat; raised as the privileged daughter of billionaire Hank Pym. Never having to work a real job her life. She’s never had to interact with the worst of society, to see the true degeneracy of the voluntary homeless. That’s no excuse for being over 30 and not comprehending how messed up your child will turn out if you ignore, cover for, their felonious crimes.
That was enough for me. All the negativity surrounding ‘Quantumania’ appears to be accurate. I turned off.
A Second Chance
Does anyone remember Ant-Man’s background? Before becoming a superhero, he was a career criminal. I’m thinking safe cracker? He was caught, went to jail and came out a better man.
That’s the point of punishing crimes. They give a person time to evaluate the harm they’ve caused and think of ways to atone. A person is not absolved of all wrongdoings after leaving prison. They still need to make amends to the people they’ve hurt and prove to society they’re rehabilitated.
Once released from prison, Scott struggled to find a job. A criminal background is going to prove a hindrance in any role. Unless you want to be a Hollywood actor? Then a background of rape, theft and/or murder will push you to the top of the casting list.
USA unemployment rate for 2023 was stated as being 3.7%. That’s only people who are claiming unemployment though, not people who aren’t working. The number is likely multitudes higher.
USA population for 2023 was just under 340,000,000. Not including the millions of illegal economic migrants. That means there are around 12,580,000 people who can work.
According to Statistica, by the end of 2023 there were around 8,730,000 job openings in the USA. What does that tell us? That people don’t want to work. If they did, there would be around 4 million people unemployed with no open vacancies.
People are lazy and that’s what ‘Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania’ promotes; be lazy, don’t work, do what you want, take what you want and everyone else should provide for you.
Scott was fired from his… what was the name of the company! It was some sort of desert shop? Baskin-Robbins? Not important. He was fired because they discovered he concealed his criminal past. Given the conviction was theft related, it makes sense they would fire him as the job involves handling money.
However, Scott didn’t go full Karen as his daughter would. He asked for a chance to prove himself, it was denied due to company policy and he was dismissed. Severance pay was anything he wanted off the menu. The writers intended it to be insulting, but clearly the screenwriters have never worked one of these jobs. Otherwise they would be grateful for anything they got in life.
The story progresses, Scott returns to his criminals ways, he breaks in to Pym Technologies and… is it a spoiler if I’m reviewing the third movie in a series? He becomes Ant-Man. Movie ruined!
‘Ant-Man’ (2015) was a redemption story. Could it be that, 8 years later, ‘Quantumania’ (‘Ant-Man 3’) is a redemption story for his daughter? Even though this stupid girl is not being punished, perhaps that comes in the next scene when arriving home? I don’t know what counts as a punishment to snowflakes today. Take away all her toys? Make her return to jail and serve time for her felony?
Shit, It Got Worse
Immediately after the car lecture there’s a 2 second break from ‘the message’, an establishing shot of an expensive house, before another round of societal abuse triggers. This time with the whole family!
Scott, his daughter, wife and her parents (Pfeiffer and Douglas) are sitting down for dinner. There’s a short back and forth between Scott and Douglas in regards to saving money. Made me laugh. The line didn’t require any talent to write, but the delivery was perfect. So credit to the actors on that.
Everyone sits at the table and here we go! Round 2. Douglas asks if the kid made any friends in the slammer “this time”. Which seems odd, right? Why would he phrase it like that? Is he joking?
It turns out the entire family knows of the child’s extensive criminal background. Everyone bar Scott and he is not impressed. He shouldn’t be. Why is this being kept a secret from him? If what his entitled brat of a daughter does is for the greater good, why shouldn’t her superhero father know?
Not only has the annoying kid with a psychotic stare been arrested multiple times, the family also built her a superhero suit. When a child wants a mobile phone there should be a serious discussion between both parents. They’re jointly responsible. Instead the Pym family has cut Scott out completely and are grooming his child in to a life of crime.
Reminder; Douglas and Pfeiffer were the original Ant-Man and Wasp superhero duo, decades earlier. Scott and his wife adopted the roles for the modern day.
The parents and grandparents should have a deep comprehension of the differences between right and wrong. That you don’t do whatever you want because you disagree with something.
That’s a vigilante, not a superhero.
If the accepted criminal actions of a petulant child weren’t bad enough, the ultimate insult to viewers was the berating of Ant-Man’s life. The daughter dismissively mentions he helped save the universe, which he did, then questions what he’s done since.
Excuse me? What have you done with your life and superhero suit? Committed felonious acts on the police, who were peacefully trying to make their community safer. The rest of the family all agree with her by the way. None of them speak up in defence of Scott; who became trapped in the quantum realm, found a way out, gave the technology to The Avengers and helped defeat Thanos.
Scott should have jumped across the table, pinned his daughter to the wall and slapped her face so hard that she never spoke back to him again. The audacity of the idiot generation, the idiot writers, to berate a man who selflessly saved the universe and wants to take life a little easier. Without Scott, The Avengers wouldn’t have the technology to go back in time and change history. Thanos would have won.
Doesn’t he deserve a peaceful life? He writes books, graciously interacts with annoying fans and spreads goodwill. Scott’s an inspiration. He won’t be once knowledge of his gormless daughters criminal activities become public. His reputation will be in tatters.
What exactly is Scott meant to do after defeating Thanos? There are plenty of other superheroes, many with godlike powers, who can take out lesser villains much easier than Ant-Man. Is he supposed to kill all police officers? Prove the CIA assassinated Kennedy and Epstein, then take down the US government? What is there for him to do that’s better than inspiring regular people?
Fuck this movie. I’m not sitting through it.
Hollywood are grooming children and simpletons with the message ‘do what you want, everyone else is wrong’. Then they’re confused when Hollywood turns in to a paedophile, rapist, degenerate criminal shit hole overrun with homeless filth and rich brats. Like Scott’s daughter.
I believed the contrast of good and evil would be played out with Ant-Man and the main villain. Not against his moronic, privileged, crack addicted daughter and uppity librarian wife. I’m speculating on the crack addiction given her facial expressions and psychotic glare. Possibly meth.
There’s no way I’m watching the remaining hour and 30 minutes. I can imagine whatever I want. Just like these writers, who dismiss reality for whatever they choose to believe.
What are the odds that, by the end of the film, Scott’s family don’t change? The wife, daughter, grandparents, still hate the law and somehow blame Ant-Man for the villain existing?
Oh, not only that, they will convince Ant-Man to be more regressive! To fight the law and turn the rest of the world in to the fecal wasteland that is California. I bet that’s what happens.
Don’t know, don’t care. I’ll make up my own movie.
My, Better, Movie
The lighthearted intro can stay. We’re going to pick up from the jail scene.
Scott walks in to the jail where his daughter is held. She pulls out the shrunken car and makes that dumb face. It seems a permanent fixture, so that goes without saying. Scott is furious. They go outside and she’s forced to restore the car in front of reporters and apologise to the police. Scott makes a statement that no one is above the law, regardless of privilege or background.
As the daughter walks towards their car, Scott grabs her by the shoulder and asks where she’s going. The punishment is over? Oh no, it is not. She’s marched back to jail and left there until the bail hearing, days later. She will learn there are consequences to actions and her superpower tech comes with responsibilities.
The daughter is eventually bailed out, but told the money was taken from her college fund. If she wants further education, she’ll have to pay for it herself. No more free rides. A tantrum ensues, but there’s nothing she can do as her superpower suit has been taken away.
Scott disowns the family for lying to him and raising a criminal, taking sole custody of the daughter. Hope has weekend, supervised, visitations which does not go down well. The wife and grandparents suit up and try to kidnap the daughter. Scott fights them off and decides the only safe place is off-world. The kid is sent to be raised by Asgardians. There she learns discipline, respect and gratitude; how to be a good person.
Meanwhile Krang, or Kang, escapes the quantum realm and goes about accomplishing whatever he was meant to do in the original movie. I think the reviews said he wanted to kill every version of himself? Maybe it made him stronger? Whatever, the story isn’t about him. He’s a mechanism for ‘the message’.
Weeks later, we meet up with the wife and grandparents scouring planets for the daughter. Kang has become a problem, one which Scott investigates. A fight ensues between the pair but Krang is too powerful. Scott goes off to research a way to defeat him.
Eventually the daughter and the bad elements of her family are reunited. The kid explains that she’s a better person now and it was the right thing to do. They head back to Earth.
A final battle takes place in the quantum realm, but there’s only enough space magic to shrink 2 people. Scott chooses Falcon to help him. That’s a tie-in to a previous movie.
The fight isn’t going well when the daughter turns up in a superhero suit, apologising for being a bitch. The wife and grandparents arrive, seconds later, all suited up but furious with Scott.
The climax to the movie is not a grotesquely fake CGI fight, it’s the daughters speech. She lectures the parents on how important family is and not to hid things from each other. How a sole persons views shouldn’t be dismissed because the rest of them live in a bubble.
Krang is defeated but not killed. He’s imprisoned in a weird quantum place for future adventures. Don’t kill off the villain at the end of every film!!! You run out of villains within a couple of stories. Geniuses.
The movie ends with everyone back at the initial dinner table, talking like a real family. Scott mentions he’s decided to step-up and join the Avengers full time. His daughter had a point. There are very few people with his abilities and resources, it’s time he helped fill the void left by Iron-Man.
Like the first ‘Ant-Man’ movie, it’s a redemption story. Only this time it’s for the daughter.
But that didn’t happen.
The End
Bail time: 10 minutes, 10 seconds.
‘Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania’ is trash. Pirate everything then, if it’s good, pay for it. Do not pay for garbage. They’ll just keep making more…